When we watch our elementary kids step onto the court or field, it’s easy to get caught up in the wins, the missed shots, or the potential we see in them. But as a parent, your primary job at this early stage is protecting their joy and guiding their emotional growth.
I recently spoke with Dr. Jon Skidmore to talk about social-emotional development in young student-athletes, and his insights were impactful. At the elementary level, a child’s brain is fundamentally driven by survival, safety, and pleasure. They naturally move toward what feels safe and fun and back away from what brings pain whether physical pain, social embarrassment, or emotional distress.
To set your young athlete up for long-term success, focus on these three fundamentals:
- Prioritize Discovery and Play: At six or seven years old, sports should be about exploring movement, learning to dribble, and catching a ball without fear. Keep the focus on the fun of play, not the pressure of winning.
- Focus on Skill Mastery over Winning: Help your child build confidence through small victories like making contact with the ball or staying focused during a drill. Skill mastery builds true self-esteem.
- Watch the Meaning They Attach to Failure: Kids tend to think in extremes: win or lose, good or bad, success or failure. If they drop a pass or miss a shot, remind them that mistakes aren’t bad. They’re just a part of learning.
If we lose sight of fun at this age, pressure takes over, and kids tune out. Keep the experience light, supportive, and focused on growth.