{"id":1643,"date":"2026-09-17T08:00:18","date_gmt":"2026-09-17T08:00:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.daefoundation.org\/?p=1643"},"modified":"2026-09-22T13:48:39","modified_gmt":"2026-09-22T13:48:39","slug":"why-pressure-hurts-young-athletes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.daefoundation.org\/index.php\/2026\/09\/17\/why-pressure-hurts-young-athletes\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Pressure Hurts Young Athletes"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>As parents, we want the absolute best for our kids. We want to see them shine, overcome challenges, and succeed on the big stage. But there\u2019s a fine line between supporting our kids and overburdening them with unreasonable expectations.<\/p>\n<p>Dr. Jon Skidmore put it plainly during our recent discussion: high expectations are often a formula for frustration, disappointment, and resentment. When our expectations for a child outweigh their actual stage of emotional and physical development, sports stop being an enjoyable game and start feeling like an obligation.<\/p>\n<h2>The Pitfalls of Unrealistic Expectations<\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li>The Trap of All-or-Nothing Thinking: Young kids naturally evaluate themselves in black-and-white terms. When they feel they aren&#8217;t living up to adult expectations, they internalize it as being bad at the sport or disappointing their parents.<\/li>\n<li>Fear of Failure Replaces the Drive to Play: When the price of making a mistake feels too high, kids stop taking risks. They play timidly to avoid errors rather than playing freely to make plays.<\/li>\n<li>The Rare Nature of Prodigies: Natural prodigies are extremely rare. The vast majority of kids fall into multi-talented or developing categories. Pushing an elementary-age athlete as if they must be elite right now usually leads to early burnout.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>What to Do Instead<\/h2>\n<p>Shifting your focus from outcome-based goals to process-based goals is one of the most powerful moves you can make as a sports parent, but putting it into practice takes a conscious mindset shift.<\/p>\n<p>When we only celebrate wins, high scores, or trophies, kids quickly learn that their value on the field is tied entirely to the final result, something they often can&#8217;t completely control. If the referee makes a bad call or the other team is just bigger and faster, focusing solely on the win leaves your child feeling helpless when things don&#8217;t go their way.<\/p>\n<p>Process-based goals change the entire dynamic because they give control back to your young athlete. Instead of asking &#8220;Did you win?&#8221; or &#8220;How many points did you score?&#8221; on the ride home, try steering the conversation toward effort, growth, and character:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Highlight Controllable Actions: Celebrate the quiet victories that show progress, like keeping their composure after a mistake, calling out plays to help a teammate, or executing a footwork drill they&#8217;ve been practicing all week.<\/li>\n<li>Redefine What Success Looks Like: Help them see that success centers on giving full effort and showing up for their team. When a child knows you&#8217;re paying attention to their hustle rather than just the scoreboard, the fear of making mistakes starts to melt away.<\/li>\n<li>Be Their Safe Landing Pad: Let your child take the wheel when it comes to their passion and motivation for the game. Your job isn&#8217;t to push them down the path, but to offer a steady, unconditional foundation of encouragement so they know your support never hinges on whether they win or lose.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>When kids realize they are praised for their grit, attitude, and learning process, sports stop feeling like a high-stakes exam and start feeling like what they were always meant to be: fun, empowering, and transformative.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>As parents, we want the absolute best for our kids. We want to see them shine, overcome challenges, and succeed on the big stage. But there\u2019s a fine line between supporting our kids and overburdening them with unreasonable expectations. Dr. Jon Skidmore put it plainly during our recent discussion: high expectations are often a formula [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1644,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[35],"class_list":["post-1643","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mental-health","tag-dr-jon-skidmore"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.daefoundation.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1643","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.daefoundation.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.daefoundation.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.daefoundation.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.daefoundation.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1643"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.daefoundation.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1643\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1645,"href":"https:\/\/www.daefoundation.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1643\/revisions\/1645"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.daefoundation.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1644"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.daefoundation.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1643"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.daefoundation.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1643"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.daefoundation.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1643"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}